Alien Abduction Insurance; get familiar with these three words because you never know when you're going to need to pull out your policy.
You may be wondering what does AAI cover?
It doesn't prevent getting abducted, not even the ghost trap can save you, but it'll be handy when you're brought back to planet earth because, as a policyholder, you'll get $1M coverage upon your return to help you take care of property damage and other potential situations you may find yourself in.
Here are some other nifty things that AAI will cover:
If you get pregnant, AAI will pay 50% of your half-human-half-alien SPAWN's daycare or educational cost until your child turns 18 Earth years.
We'll negotiate your freedom if the Alien tries to claim you as its pet or keep you as a toy for its sexual pleasures (ew).
Uncertainty is something we all face through this silly thing called life. That's why we want to make AAI accessible to all, especially for those that pull on your heartstrings.